The Last House on the Left: the last movie I want to see again

I am not an avid horror movie fan, but I expected more from West Craven. 

The premise: two girls (Mari and her friend) try to buy weed from a group of strangers, the strangers turn out to be escaped criminals, the criminals kidnap and rape the girls, and then unknowingly as they are trying to flee, the criminal's car breaks down outside of Mari's parent's house.

The parents then exact their revenge.

It sounds like a good plot that any current fan of the Saw movies or Hostel would enjoy, but the movie spends too much time focusing on the girls pre-kidnapping.  This is especially a problem when the movie is only around 80 minutes long.

I'm not entirely sure you could call this a bad movie.  I would define it as an odd experience that I am neither grateful I saw nor plan to ever see again. 

The movie features a number of violent rape scenes and mutilations, but it is the odd, non-rape, sex acts that are the most disturbing.  While the two kidnapped girls struggle and bang on the inside of a cars trunk, two of the kidnappers have sex.

This may seem chilling, but it is the fact that the male doesn't betray a single sign of emotion during this entire scene.

This all pales in comparison, however, to the infamous fellatio scene.

The mother of the now deceased Mari seductively lures the kidnapper outside.  She then performs fellatio on the (dare I say it?) poor guy for a solid 15 seconds before biting off his penis.  It is then assumed that the rapist/criminal bleeds to death from his injury.

I can't think of a more painful way to go.

Unless it's sticking numerous toothpicks in one's eyes while their skin is slowly carved off and then lemon juice is tossed on to their exposed areas.

This particular scene does have a bit of poetic justice however, being as the man was a rapist and he was relieved of his baby-makin' weapon. 

The movie ends with Mari's father slicing the last of the kidnappers/rapists up with a chainsaw.  And then, as the credits roll, all of the actors are shown smiling while soothing music plays.

Forget that the first 30 minutes of the movies played as some kind of anti-drug McGruff the crime dog movie.  Forget that the next 50 minutes featured an excruciating amount of hard-to-watch, violent rape scenes.  It is the last 5 minutes of credits that have me the most worked up.

Was this an easy affair?  Am I carefree and happy after spending 80 minutes of my life watching this? 

No. 

To Wes Craven: though I did not enjoy watching your movie, I would not even wish a mutilated stub of a sex organ upon you.